I have achieved a new appreciation for the rules and customs of mourning in Judaism. I can’t imagine trying to get through this week without a structure to provide support. I won’t say I have a new appreciation for the power of community, but certainly a renewed respect for my parents’ community and for my own.
I have a far greater understanding of the importance of shivah calls. I know now that if I bring a bereaved family food it must be ready to eat and handed to them. I know that the next time I pay a condolence call I am going to step into the kitchen and do any dishes in the sink, and throw out any food that is attracting ants.
I go on Facebook. Maybe I shouldn’t. We’re not supposed to go out in public, and we’re avoiding entertainment. Facebook might be both. But it is also the main channel on communication with some people, including my sister abroad.
I see that one of my teachers from collage lost his baby daughter. She was born with a rare genetic disease. It was not a surprise, but unspeakably awful all the same.
I start doing the math. If we get up on Wednesday and they are sitting til Friday, theoretically I can make it. I can’t cope.
The days are starting to run together. The timeline should be simple, Wednesday she died, Thursday the funeral, Friday was the first day after the funeral, and the day before Shabbat, Shabbat obviously, and now Sunday. But we keep asking each other, is it actually only Sunday?